Today has not been a good day. My upload was completely screwed with by youtube and then I lashed out at people I'm just not in a good state of mind. Yesterday I was talking to my ex and I guess she was feeling down and I offered to listen and she completely blew me off that's annoying yo...You said you'd tell me tomorrow I say cool and I wait the entire day and nothing. PLEASE I repeat PLEASE do not tell me your going to do something then completely fucking blow off me being nice. Now going forward to present time, I lashed out at my friend now he won't talk to me I mean I guess bro I been meaning to talk to you, but since you were M.I.A. I didn't want to bother you. I'll let you be dawg I'll just hang out with myself and this blog that lets me vent my frustrations I think I'll go a step further and just stop posting on my twitter for awhile to completely stop my interaction with the world.
Well while typing this I made post on twitter saying I'll post on it whenever I feel up to it probably in a week or 2 I'll be good. I guess I'll say it on here, I'm not happy and I'm tired of hiding behind a smile oh don't confuse this I'm not suicidal I'm just not happy. Also I just want someone to talk to I get sad whenever I have thinking I wanna say, but no one is around to listen so I just talk to myself it helps, but it get old I just some human interaction. My adult life is going to suck well maybe or it will be great shit I have no clue I'm just in a bummed out mood at the moment. Either that or I'm bipolar, honestly I think I might be cause I'm depressed yet I'm having mood swings I'm happy but I'm angry and all this shit...I'm just probably imaging all this. No woman is going to want having me around like this, but who can blame them. Honestly I wish I could hang out with that 1 chick I want to meet and get to know her and possibly get turned down, but I'll be happy cause I did what I wanted to do. My self esteem is weird cause I have it high and low sometimes haha, also going back on topic I'm too weird for this chick also I don't know her so it would be weird of me to ask her to hang out since she has no idea who I am.
I'm sure that I'm not her type at all lol I've only seen 1 picture of her, but not the point I'm sure I'm not her type cause I'm extremely beaner looking and I'm big in the sense that i'm tall and my frame isn't skinny, but i'm not obese. ahaha why am I describing myself this so stupid, Some guys have better luck with woman and some don't and I'm that guy who has no luck with woman cause I'm not what most chicks have in mind. A 6ft Mexican who talks educated and sounds like if he was a white boy. A lot of people tell me that my voice sounds like a white persons and honestly I never understood wtf that ment I mean seriously how does one sound like an white or black person or whatever.
Well yeah I think I got somethings off my chest let's see what tomorrow has in store .__. I'm just going to think about that 1 chick
No comments:
Post a Comment